She Said “Yes”
I will explain later.
*cartwheels*
Skybox of Doom: Bucking the Downward Trend
Recently, Linden Lab made a large number of landowners unhappy by glutting the market with new land (causing land prices to plummet) and lowering the cost of new private sims (causing many rental sims to lose large numbers of renters). It hasn’t been surprising to see land selling for 50% of its previous value.
So I knew I was faced with a challenge when deciding to sell off 4608sqm of my land. Most of the land in the sim had been bought up by a Gorean (sound familiar?) to build dozens and dozens of tiny rental skyboxes. This meant the already rocky terrain below was left barren, largely devoid of even a single tree.
I approached the skybox owner about selling my land. As predicted, I was treated as clueless and potentially gullible. I was told that most mainland was being sold now for two to three lindens per square meter, and that I should drop my asking price.
(Oh, did I neglect to mention that the skybox owner was griefing a nearby club owner because she dared putting ban lines around her own workshop - which apparently interfered with Mr. Skybox’s ability to fly around “his” region?)
So I lowered my asking price. Slightly.
Then I erected a 4608sqm cement skybox.
Honestly? I was sick of the desolation. If I was stuck with the land, at least I was going to have surroundings that were amenable to me. I built it first, planning to come back to retexture the interior later. By the time I finished assembling it, I was actually pleased with it! Since I figured it wasn’t going to sell, I was going to cancel the sale and muck about in the air, visually shielded from the clutter of rentals in my midst.
Ironically, I forgot to cancel.
I’m guessing that my cement behemoth was the incentive the skybox builder needed to buy me out - for L$6.07 per sqm. I was in world, talking with a friend when suddenly I get my skybox handed to me, piece by piece - and a muncha bunny dropped into my account.
The funny thing? The 4608sqm started out as one 512sqm plot that I bought for Three for her plot of tier-free land under her premium membership. When she changed her mind, I noticed the 512 next to it - and the one next to that one. And so on.
Land ownership is insidiously addictive.
O_o
Well, I’m homeless!
(Sort of.)
I pulled my skybox down. I love the design, but making it both functional as an office and cozy as a home has proven a challenge. Not to mention the fact that the vast majority of Lyralo is now owned by a skybox rental builder, which has cluttered the surrounding skies from just above the cloud layer to the maximum building height.
I’ve been looking at some of the Vista prefabs with the thought of moving back down to ground level, and while I do like their builds, I’m not entirely sold on them. What I’m looking for is something that I can divide between work and relaxation. I’ve got a 4608m2 parcel, but it’s somewhat L-shaped. Any recommendations are greatly appreciated. My ceiling is about L$2500 for something truly stunning. About half that or less for something comfortably average. Prim count is not particularly a concern, and I’d like to stay away from alpha textures as much as possible.
I’m starting my own in-world publishing business, and it looks like I might already have a client. I’ve been signed on to try my hand at commission-based real estate sales. Also, I’ve got my fingers crossed for a possible job with a company I’m positively crazy about. Last but not least, I DJ at the Lounge of Dreams when I’m able. Hopefully, I can eventually cover my own expenses in world without having to rely on outside sources. Finally, I’m working on an art installation that I plan to write about very soon - if you dare to bare, please get in touch with me.
The social element of my in-world life has become a bit stressful. I’ve been spreading myself a little too thinly, and I’ve had to take a few steps back to re-focus. I’ve reluctantly had to make “Set Busy” my new friend in recent days. Anyone who tells you that Second Life™ is a utopian existence has never spent any time in it.
That said, I should be in world a fair bit this weekend. Hopefully with a home. So I need your recommendations!
Sensible Thought of the Day
In response to the latest angst-fest on Second Life’s official blog:
Is the sky falling? Is your world crashing down around you? Easy solution.
Close your web browser, turn off your computer, and go outside. If you’re still worried about your Second Life, go get hit by a bus.
Now granted, this doesn’t apply to those who actually earn a genuine living in SL, but for those for whom downtime drives them to wish AIDS on Phillip Linden, it most certainly does.
Thank you, Shadowquine - though I fear your words will be lost on those who need them the most. Get miffed, yes. Get annoyed, sure. If you’re earning a living off of SL, get angry. But if you’re wishing diseases on people, it’s probably time for you to get some fresh air and some perspective.
A Quick (Belated) Squeee
I officiated a wedding last Saturday! My boss Cam and his sweetheart Matt tied the knot, and I was there to press my finger down on the laces for them. The venue was absolutely breathtaking, and the gods of the grid smiled on us for the ceremony and reception - despite early hints of borkiness, went off with nary a hitch. I was so honored that Cam and Matt thought enough of me to make me a part of their special day.
Land?
I’ve got two parcels in Birmingham City that I’m about to surrender back to the owner. I’ve had them both up for L$1000 for a bit now. One is 1008sqm and the other is 1024sqm. It’s a residential sim, but boutique-type shops are permitted. If you want to visit the sim (both parcels have the traditional For Sale signs), and look over the parcels, I will take best offer. Tier is in the 550-575 per week range. The 1008 is near a club so it’s best suited for skybox use. Comment here if you’re interested and I’ll make arrangements. All offers will be considered.
Update? Update? Bueller? Bueller?
Hello, lovelies. I’ve realized it’s been a while since I’ve written about my in-world life. Let’s resolve that, shall we?
First off, let me apologize. I’ve not been myself lately. There’s been a lot going on - both in my life, and swirling around it. I don’t feel particularly at liberty to talk about the swirly bits, because they don’t involve me directly - but they have played a major role in my emotional downturn. Suffice it to say that I’ve been quite depressed and frustrated by it all, and hiding out.
A lot.
On to the non-swirly bits. Finances have forced me to make a decision that I’ve been postponing - selling most of my property in Birmingham City. The hardest part, and the one that still has my heart in my throat, was dismantling the clock tower. I had recently purchased the adjacent parcel and had planned to turn it into a proper town square. However, I could no longer ignore the cash hemorrhage I was experiencing - as well as the realization that land values on a private sim like BC do not appreciate. I’m keeping two small parcels there - including one that I’m currently leasing to my sister, Nickki.
I’ve turned my attentions back to the mainland. I now own 4608 sqm in the new Lyralo region. My friend Jewella Stine and I also just bought a nice roadside-protected parcel in Grishin (near Monti, where we first met). I’m not sure what we’ll be doing with the Grishin land, as I’m still figuring out the best way to terraform it. Lyralo is my new home base - my new skybox doubles as office and living quarters, and it’s quite cozy. I’ve also got something else planned in Lyralo - I’ll announce it here when it’s closer to completion.
I’m DJing part time at the Lounge of Dreams. I also dance from time to time at the Luna Lounge, located on the second floor of the Luna Animations building. I’m also laying the groundwork for a new magazine I hope to start publishing soon. If everything goes according to plan, it will be quite unlike anything you’ve seen in 2L.
Actually, I’ve got a group, “Marxi’s Red Army”, that I set up a while back. I’m going to start using it to send out news of when I’m gigging and where, as well as other things that might be of interest. At the moment, I can’t remember if it’s set to open-enrollment or not. If it’s not, send me an IM and I’ll add you.
Well, I think that’s it for now. Stay strong, and hang in there - for deep in my heart, I do believe … we shall overcome (the crashes and the lag) someday!
Just Another Friday Night Goatf**k in Lindentown
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So tonight, while everyone is either locked out or in world with half their clothes missing and attachments pending, I suppose I’ll write something.
Tonight is my last opportunity to be in-world this weekend. It also happens to be the in-world day from hell. It also happens to be the day when Linden Labs charges me for the privilege of upgrading from quarterly premium to annual premium. Yes, I’ve been ranting and carrying on like a hormonal teenager.
Wow, was I actually thinking about starting a business in Second Life? Why yes … yes, I was! How foolish of me!
Of course, all will be forgotten once the grid is back online. There’s something about the ability to finally log in after prolonged downtime that gives us all goldfish memory.
Edit: Saw this on SLUniverse. Priceless!
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Fourth Wall II
Thanks to everyone for all of your amazing insight from both sides. It is taking me longer to respond than I wanted to, largely because I’ve been distracted both by personal projects - establishing my mainland office space, expanding my clock tower on the private Birmingham City sim to a proper park/town square, reducing my private land holdings, getting back into DJ work - and, of course, socializing.
Something that resonated with me, was a response from annashevik on Livejournal’s SL community. I’ve asked permission to repost it here.
Relationships are so very much about constant negotiation (or fighting) over time, energy, and attention. Who owns it? Who controls it? What does “love” give you the right to expect of the other’s time, energy, and attention? These are tricky yet common issues and although you are experiencing this “negotiation” in the context of SL, I think it comes up over something, at some point.
Many women I’ve known (including me!) have a true sense of entitlement to their partner’s time, energy, and attention. (In some cases, we need that in order to survive, or for our children’s survival, but right now I’m not talking about survival needs but needs that can be negotiated.) We back each other up when we don’t get what we want, reinforcing the expectations. Even you agreed, in the past, that game playing was “wrong” and reason to be rejecting. We seem to be protecting ourselves from neglect, which we don’t see as a reason to “leave” as often as a reason to “control.” But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more and more and more wary of this entitlement and more likely to distrust it.
SL has recently been a catalyst for facing my sense of entitlement when it reared its (usually ugly) head. My beloved RL partner (who happens to be male) and I play together but decided early on not to play as partners, though we share an SL house and often hang out together. I enjoy the social benefits of the game very much, as you do, and I have enjoyed the sexual aspects of playing too (in my case, with other women), when they are fun.
But the first time he was “enjoying” those “aspects” on his own, I freaked the &*&^$* out! Please understand, I have always been an open, liberally-minded person and never much of a mainstream thinker. But he’d told me, many times, that I was it for him, entitled to all his sensual time, energy, and attention. And he meant it when he said it. Having never had some of the experiences we’ve had since (both in RL and in SL) he could not have predicted what he’d enjoy. I respect his growth because I respect him. Still, he was sharing my attention - it belonged to me, right? The fact that I was enjoying the same thing, while loving him all the more, didn’t help my heart. And the fact that he’s a truly attentive and constantly loving partner did little to assuage my frustration at losing the “control” I thought I had.
Now most people will tell me that I’m right! I am entitled to monogamy, even virtual monogamy. I was willing to choose that, if I came to feel we’d made a mistake. But you know what? As I’ve worked with and faced my freak out, taking small steps and finding out exactly what non-monogamy in SL feels like and how it effects my relationship, I’ve seen that our path is neither threatening nor frightening. When I face it. The fact is, I am, we are, happier (much) in both SL and RL! We’ve each made friends who enrich the other’s lives. My entitlement was protecting me from fun, joy, trust, adventure, variety, trust … what’s the point of that? And letting it go brings intimacy on new levels. So … once again, I came to distrust entitlement.
Is it a risk? Yup. But so was owning his time, energy, and attention - that is something we all, in one form or another, escape. Not to say that had I chosen SL monogamy that would be “ownership”, everyone has to discover what is freely given and what is surrendered and if surrender is freely given. In my case, it would be harder if he were giving his time, energy, and attention to something I don’t enjoy, so we all have to identify and define our own boundaries. Things are only “wrong” when we truly see that they cause harm.
May you and Linda find some common insight. I’m sorry to say that at some point, you will probably both have to choose between loving the other person as they are or surrendering to becoming someone acceptable. I’ve done both and recommend the first one wholeheartedly whenever possible, though I know many committed couples will disagree. I can only speak from my experience.
Thank you, Anna. I can’t wait to respond to everything that everyone has written.