The World According to Marx Dudek

Sincere apologies all around for my protracted absence.  I’ve had some difficulties to resolve in both lives.  Happily, it seems that life number two is back on track and humming along - and life number one has been much less contentious.  It appears I have a great deal for which to be thankful.

My prior post was a bit cryptic and was easy to misinterpret.  It was not a jab at anyone, but rather a lament of general frustration.  I hate grouping people into categories, but there is clearly a distinction between people who understand the Second Life™ paradigm and those who don’t - and a further distinction between people who don’t get it and people who make a concerted effort not to get it.  It doesn’t mean that we love these people any less, but it can certainly be frustrating to the point of mental exhaustion to contend with the disconnection.

Second Life (or any interactive virtual environment, for that matter) is a meeting and merging of hearts and minds.  There are aspects that could easily cause one to presume that virtual life is a utopia where everything is beautiful and perfect - where every expectation is met, every dream fulfilled, where disappointment and disillusionment do not exist.  Anyone who has dwelt in world for any length of time knows this is certainly not the case.

Nearly everyone comes to Second Life hoping to be a representation of their ideal self.  Nearly everyone winds up as a virtual version of their real self, with their aspirations as well as their misgivings, their flaws and faults as well as their better angels.  I personally feel that my virtual presence in Second Life is a much truer expression of my inner self - which, of course, means that the faults are much more obvious as well.

I think, perhaps, my greatest personal shortcomings are defensiveness and self-centeredness.  Despite my best efforts, these have reared their ugly head in Second Life - at their worst, in the presence of my own partner.  While I am deeply sorry that this happened, I am also somewhat relieved.  It’s like falling down for the first time when you’re on skates - you’re scared to death of it happening, but once it’s happened, you realize you’re not broken, the end of the world hasn’t come, and all you need to do is get back on your feet and try again.

That is what we are doing.

Yes, Second Life is about exploring, and escaping and having a good time.  But it’s also much more than that.  And that’s often difficult to impress upon someone who is not involved or sees it as just another game or bit of escapism.  So when things happen to shake up the pixelated world that we populate, it’s not always easy - perhaps impossible - to explain what has happened, or why it has affected us the way it has, or why persist with it when things happen to make us sad, or angry, or despondent.  After all, it’s “just entertainment”, right?

It’s life.  And we shouldn’t run away from our problems in Second Life any more than we should in our “first life”.  That we can face our problems here - in a world where it’s much, much easier to simply disappear without a trace and without any (apparent) consequences - rather than switch them off, is a genuine sign of maturity.

Even if they are sometimes faced in the form of a rabbit.

Saturday was lovely.  Codie’s grand opening was amazing - as though anyone suspected it wouldn’t be!  I was so glad I could be there for it. I’ve Flickr’d some of my snapshots, and I’ve got some more to post in the next day or so.

I’ve got some things that I really want to write about, but I need time to organize my thoughts because they’re a tangled mess and it’s going to take a while to sort them out and make sense of them.

Nothing’s wrong inworld, I promise.  I’m not going emo, and I’m certainly not going to disappear.  This has to do with life on the other side of the Fourth Wall.  It’s an issue that I wish I didn’t have to address as often as I do, but this seems for me to be the most comfortable place to address it.  I know that I am in the presence of loving, caring individuals who can identify with, or at least empathize with, the state of life that exists for me on the material side of the Wall.

I love you all.  I hope you know how much I do, and I don’t feel like I tell you all enough.

So I stopped into Luna this morning, to make a quick sweep … and found a familiar face among the ad-boards.

I clicked on it, and discovered a lovely message.

Written to me.

I smiled, and still am.

Thanks, Traci.  *hug*  You’re a sweet friend.

Well, I’m homeless!

(Sort of.)

I pulled my skybox down.  I love the design, but making it both functional as an office and cozy as a home has proven a challenge.  Not to mention the fact that the vast majority of Lyralo is now owned by a skybox rental builder, which has cluttered the surrounding skies from just above the cloud layer to the maximum building height.

I’ve been looking at some of the Vista prefabs with the thought of moving back down to ground level, and while I do like their builds, I’m not entirely sold on them.  What I’m looking for is something that I can divide between work and relaxation.  I’ve got a 4608m2 parcel, but it’s somewhat L-shaped.  Any recommendations are greatly appreciated.  My ceiling is about L$2500 for something truly stunning.  About half that or less for something comfortably average.  Prim count is not particularly a concern, and I’d like to stay away from alpha textures as much as possible.

I’m starting my own in-world publishing business, and it looks like I might already have a client.  I’ve been signed on to try my hand at commission-based real estate sales.  Also, I’ve got my fingers crossed for a possible job with a company I’m positively crazy about.  Last but not least, I DJ at the Lounge of Dreams when I’m able.  Hopefully, I can eventually cover my own expenses in world without having to rely on outside sources.  Finally, I’m working on an art installation that I plan to write about very soon - if you dare to bare, please get in touch with me.

The social element of my in-world life has become a bit stressful.  I’ve been spreading myself a little too thinly, and I’ve had to take a few steps back to re-focus.  I’ve reluctantly had to make “Set Busy” my new friend in recent days.  Anyone who tells you that Second Life™ is a utopian existence has never spent any time in it.

That said, I should be in world a fair bit this weekend.  Hopefully with a home.  So I need your recommendations!

I officiated a wedding last Saturday!  My boss Cam and his sweetheart Matt tied the knot, and I was there to press my finger down on the laces for them.  The venue was absolutely breathtaking, and the gods of the grid smiled on us for the ceremony and reception - despite early hints of borkiness, went off with nary a hitch.  I was so honored that Cam and Matt thought enough of me to make me a part of their special day.

Hello, lovelies. I’ve realized it’s been a while since I’ve written about my in-world life. Let’s resolve that, shall we?

First off, let me apologize. I’ve not been myself lately. There’s been a lot going on - both in my life, and swirling around it. I don’t feel particularly at liberty to talk about the swirly bits, because they don’t involve me directly - but they have played a major role in my emotional downturn. Suffice it to say that I’ve been quite depressed and frustrated by it all, and hiding out.

A lot.

On to the non-swirly bits. Finances have forced me to make a decision that I’ve been postponing - selling most of my property in Birmingham City. The hardest part, and the one that still has my heart in my throat, was dismantling the clock tower. I had recently purchased the adjacent parcel and had planned to turn it into a proper town square. However, I could no longer ignore the cash hemorrhage I was experiencing - as well as the realization that land values on a private sim like BC do not appreciate. I’m keeping two small parcels there - including one that I’m currently leasing to my sister, Nickki.

I’ve turned my attentions back to the mainland. I now own 4608 sqm in the new Lyralo region. My friend Jewella Stine and I also just bought a nice roadside-protected parcel in Grishin (near Monti, where we first met). I’m not sure what we’ll be doing with the Grishin land, as I’m still figuring out the best way to terraform it. Lyralo is my new home base - my new skybox doubles as office and living quarters, and it’s quite cozy. I’ve also got something else planned in Lyralo - I’ll announce it here when it’s closer to completion.

I’m DJing part time at the Lounge of Dreams. I also dance from time to time at the Luna Lounge, located on the second floor of the Luna Animations building. I’m also laying the groundwork for a new magazine I hope to start publishing soon. If everything goes according to plan, it will be quite unlike anything you’ve seen in 2L.

Actually, I’ve got a group, “Marxi’s Red Army”, that I set up a while back. I’m going to start using it to send out news of when I’m gigging and where, as well as other things that might be of interest. At the moment, I can’t remember if it’s set to open-enrollment or not. If it’s not, send me an IM and I’ll add you.

Well, I think that’s it for now. Stay strong, and hang in there - for deep in my heart, I do believe … we shall overcome (the crashes and the lag) someday!

Last night, I was watching some of the full-sim auctions and flitting around from region to region with the sparkle of wishful thinking in my eyes. As I landed on Archon, I encountered three folks who were curious like me. There was a guy who already owned 3 sims, another guy who was apparently just wandering around some of the area while it was still untouched, and a woman who had landed in the full-sim auction area while looking for a bigger parcel for her photography work. I mentioned to her that I had a bit of space on Lyralo that I had urbanized for my art gallery, and that I had a loft building next door that was currently vacant. I brought her over, gave her the tour, and she said it was exactly what she was looking for! She asked what the rent would be, so I figured out half of what my tier is for the land and quoted that. She seemed happy with that and said she’d get back with me today to confirm it. She said she loved what I had done with the plot, and it got me thoroughly jazzed. I should hear back from her today!

I got to meet, and have become close friends with, the owner of Luna Animations. Anyone who has gotten to know my tartier side has heard me wax glossolalic about the wonderful animations from Luna. Well, my fan-girl status earned me an audience with the lovely Jennifer, and she’s given me a peek behind the curtain to some of the products she’s been working on. Recently, she needed access to land on a Havok4 sim - and I happen to own some land on one - so she’s been renting one of my parcels for research and development. In the process, I’ve gotten to know the “Jen away from the office” and she’s a lovely, lovely person. I’m honored to be her friend and her number one fan-girl!

I was also offered a job as a host for a new beach club - the kind of thing that I’d love to do, but also the kind of thing that bumps up against that nasty Fourth Wall in terms of being available on a regular basis. I haven’t even been able to DJ like I’ve wanted to because of it. Or build. Or create things for the gallery. Or do a lot of things. So as much as I’d love to, and as much as it seems I’d be a perfect fit for the job, I’m probably going to have to turn it down.

*sigh* I really want to knock the Fourth Wall down for a while and talk about this, but I’m not going to. Not right now, at least.

Maybe I should create a separate blog for it.